My first relapse
three years wasted
I recall now
steady lips for
“bleed yourself”
but I didn’t know
the blinding
light
That choice was
a treacherous step
sinking again
smoldering
drunk on resentment
with salt in my lungs
iron tight
impenetrable
was three weeks before
the warm sting of nostalgia
the euphoric burn of
jack and coke and
I could have sworn to
you, a north
star I didn’t see
coming
a mistake
or missed turn
or misdiagnosis
at rehab I was
given a ball of clay
I molded a mouth
behind castle walls
sharp teeth and forked tongue
I carried your name
Like rotten fruit.
Lodged in my throat
An incantation
I could never take back.
In Love
our first kiss
you tasted fresh
new beginnings
you told me
Love harder
wind in my sails
breathing
back to you.
a good one
To settle in infamy
I think back
so angry
so ocean
with lips sewed shut
I pushed you away
with my venom